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JAMES Don't let his size fool you. James is quite simply the greatest pound for pound rockstar of all time. His combination of rock and sexiness leaves the crowd in a frenzied awe that only he can pull off. Plus he wears that glittery fedora. Bloody F'in Right!!!!!!! |
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AUSTIN Austin is 6'2, 160 lbs of pure manliness. When not negotiating deals with the big wigs, he spends his time as a drummer. His smile lines are the stuff of legends and many women have fallen prey to his cute yet rugged style. Keep your girlfriend close if you see this man around. |
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ANDY Lost somewhere between the ever growing forest of lower siberia lies a powerful man awaiting his triumphant return into the excesses of handstrong pimpin. With a powder ready steady mind he will pounce triumphantly upon the most darkened murderous beast of the wood only to succeed in the slaughtering of his battle hardened flesh. He must be trained beyond what he hath known ever before. To grope into the shards of a shattered pimp's mind and release what shall be know to many, yet understood by few. Taking off upon his unbridled feet of passionate fury, the long lost pimp of solitude will return from solace into a world he once knew to be strong with the pimp. Lively will be his action and swift will be his pimp hand. The fury of his breeze will embrace the death it will bring along its tornadic tenacity!! Prepare you fists and keep them strong, if only to protect against the wiles of a pimp...long...gone. |
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LARRY After absconding for some time to study with the ultimate Pimp Master Wong, Larry has reexamined purpose and found through the Book of Wong intergalactic pimp divinity. Carried tightly by his side Larry and The Book along with Larry's new super-duper beard, sky's the limit...or shall we say the pimp hand is as impressive as ever. Beware strange kind people the big bad rooster is on the prowl! |
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JUSTIN (4)FOUR models - hustlin for the common good, (3)THREE ounces - bourbon no ice, (2)TWO words - f***ing pimp, (1)ONE hand - infinitely strong, (0)NONE - that can rise above THE Doctor... |
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ROBERT "Hide your whores and lock your doors, The Pimptageous, Mildly Outrageous and Freshly Courageous Bib-Bobberty-Berto is coming to a newly refreshed computer screen near you. Starting 10 years before he was actually conceived, Bibbity-Bobberty has been keeping fresh pimpin' alive. The most fruitful of his pimpventures has been his book on the female reproductive system called "Boobs:A Rube Goldberg Machine of Dizzying Complexity" and his seminar for stay at home mom's freshly entitled "Pimpin': The Damsel in Distress Complex, Finally a Way Out." Bibbity Bobberty donates his entire FreshVintage salary to fund the Washington Pimp Lobby, which is dedicated to putting a pimp in the White House by 2016. Yes We Can (keep the pimp hand of foreign policy strong.)" |